Why I Won’t be KILLING IT in 2018
I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling the pressure once the clock strikes midnight on New Years Eve. The pressure that washes over us like a tsunami is insane. As Big Ben strikes Twelve, it’s like a big magic hand comes along and slaps us in the face and fuelled by our local high street’s very best Prosecco, we commit to being better versions of ourselves, to be thinner, to be more successful, to KILL IT! Well I tell you what, I won’t be KILLING IT, or myself, in 2018 or any other year after that!
I’m hard worker in everything I do and I commit. One hundred and twenty percent commit but the thing with social media and the blogging world generally is that you can find yourself being slowly taken by the digital tidal wave, getting dragged into that “you must post photo’s of your breakfast” mindset. And woe betide if you miss a posting! Call the Social police if you miss a slot and lose 1 follower who probably wasn’t really following you anyway. If you follow my social media you might notice that I dip in and out. It’s not because I dislike it, on the contrary, I bloody love social media! I do pretty much everything online yet it can become tiresome, the same old shizzle everywhere you look! I get to the point where I need to overt my eyes for a while and then I’m like ‘hey, I’ve had a wee break but I’m good to go, here’s a picture of my burnt toast!’ and guess what… nobody died while I wasn’t killing it . The internet didn’t stop working and Mark Zuckerberg didn’t retire while I was off composing myself.
So what’s with the pressure to KILL IT? To hassle. To slay. These buzz words are creating an insane pressure to not be better but to be perfect.. at everything. It’s just not reality. Since when did we need to be the prize winner at everything? Since when was the taking part not good enough? The irony is that we teach our children that winning isn’t the point, being there, being present, taking part is the point…. enjoying it is the point. Yet, as an entrepreneurial mother, I’m setting them an example that says the complete opposite! I’m subconsciously telling them to do what it takes, don’t conform to the 9-5, work your bloody hardest or there’s no point being present at all! Without realising it, I’m teaching my children to kill it and that comes with stress and pressure and the fear of failure and oh! the guilt of it all….and this is why I have come to the conclusion that in 2018, I will not get dragged along with the tidal wave of hustlers and killers and because for me, it wrings the bloody neck out of the joy which just gets completely washed away in the tsunami. I quit my corporate job for this very reason and to be able to work when I want and how I want and so far, almost 4 years in, it’s going pretty good thank you very much.
Whilst I don’t conform to the killer mindset, I understand it. I don’t conform because I have a house to run, two children to care for, a 60hour a week full time job, I’m studying for a qualification in family therapy and with what little time is left over, I try to keep this blog ticking along. You see, the younger me would be ON IT! I’d dedicate every waking hour to killing it and I’d love doing it but now I have a lot more to contend with than just myself so I have to prioritise and break down my abilities into pieces – altogether they make the puzzle.
01 | Marketing
Having your own business is hard. Nobody ever said it’s an easy feat. It requires you to get out there and let people know who you are and what you do. Marketing yourself is essential when you’re a one woman band. You don’t however need to be on every social platform all of the time. While social media is not a one-size-fits-all thing, you do have the freedom to find your best fit. Personally I like Twitter and I dip in and out of Instagram with it’s all pretty, staged photos (which I could while away the hours just scrolling through!) Instagram is where all the brands hang out, you know, the cool people who might want to pay me some cash at some point – but that’s not to say that I need to put pressure on myself to get a KILLER insta account anytime soon. It all takes time, to build an audience, to engage with people… slowly slowly catch a monkey as my mother would say! And especially, with all the algorithmic changes happening across the social spectrum, its important to try new ways of doing things – you can’t just stop but you also don’t have to go grey over it!
02 | New Venture
This year I am very excited to be launching a new business. Something I AM GREAT AT! Horaah! and something I have put my heart and soul into for over twelve months. I will write more about that later as I’m only just crossing t’s and dotting i’s and whilst I’m not superstitious at all, I’d rather leave the cat happily in the bag for the time being. All in good time.
03 | Photography
Being active and present on the social media scene requires commitment and creativity. Creativity is what I love! This year I will be using my camera more often and leaving the phone at home. It’s my mission to get in the action and actually be in some of our family photographs. I want to give doing flat lays a go and I can’t wait for our holidays this year so I can take lots of love street and family shots!
Photography is the THE only thing that I do for myself. That’s crazy isn’t it?! It’s my only hobby and my only passion outside of my children. I’m getting pretty ok at it if I do say so myself. Taking photos of the children is my happy place and to be able to keep them, in their gappy smile, wonky fringed state forever is utter bliss for me. So, yeah, I’ll be doing lots of that in 2018 for sure!
04 | One With Nature
Hugging trees. I’m going to be doing a lot of that this year. My mum bought me an annual National Trust membership for my birthday in August and I plan to use the heck out of it! I love having a good old nose in the old houses and Max loves the scenery and the gardens while the children can roam and play. I definitely want to get outdoors more this year! Not that I’m a fitness fanatic (I can feel my friends raising a questioning eyebrow at the mere thought!) at all but I do enjoy walking. It’s so good to clear the head and get some air into the lungs! I function much better after having had some time outdoors so this year, I plan to get all of us out in the open much more.
So you see, all these buzz words like killing it, hustle and slay are just that, they’re only words. I understand the posting toast debacle, showing the real you, photos of your new “Gratitude” journal neatly placed next to your elaborately quoted coffee mug that just happens to be sitting in view of the Fortnum & Mason wicker hamper. I do, I get it. We all want a bit better than we have but 2018 is the year to be HONEST. The year to catch your breath and realise that actually, you’re doing a really amazing job! I think it’s time to pause the extra-ordinary and play the ordinary. This is my life, our lives and we don’t claim to be anything other than what we are and I hope this blog will tell that story accurately.
So next time you tell yourself “I’m killing it”, ask yourself are you really? Or are you just doing the job the very best you can whilst juggling life and trying to remain sane – nowt wrong with that!