Letter to Luca: You’re Starting Nursery
We’ve been gearing up to this night for so long and now it’s here! You’re going to nursery! I can’t work out if I’m really happy for your new adventure to be starting or deeply saddened that I’m about to lose my play mate. You’re independent and so ready for this next part of your little life. I just feel like it came around too soon. For a three year old you are so grown up! You’re starting nursery school!
It seems like yesterday when I found out I was expecting you – at twenty one weeks and three days. I remember the shock as though it were yesterday. You have brought nothing but happiness into my world since the day you arrived. You are cherished more than you will ever know. I’m happy for you, really happy. Your nursery school is wonderful and i’m comforted that your big sister Sofia will be there to watch over you. You’re going to love your teachers too, they have been so kind to mummy in reassuring me that you will be fine. You know what?! There is a wooden tree house inside your class! How amazing does that sound? You can climb the stairs up to the little kitchen and make me tea before I go home again. I’m so looking forward to seeing your little face taking in your new surroundings.
For weeks now your uniform with your little grey shorts and your big boy school shoes has been sat, patiently waiting, in the wardrobe. You’ve battled with me daily to wear your shoes to the park, down the path or to bed but I held out. Tonight I took your uniform from the wardrobe and it is now hanging on the end of your bed ready for its first outing tomorrow. You’re going to look so grown up and handsome. I promise I’ll try really hard not to cry.
I’ve just tucked you into bed after reading The Gingerbread Man and as always you recounted how the fox tipped up his nose and shot the gingerbread man up into the air before gulping him down. “Cheeky fox!” you said. As you jumped into bed, I folded your blanket and brushed your newly cut hair from your forehead, taking time to look at how your little face is already changing. I look at you at three and a half and struggle to remember my baby boy. I really don’t know how you got to be this big so fast! You’re sleeping now but soon I will pop in again, as I do every night, and sit a while just to watch you before kissing you on the head and whispering in your ear “mummy loves you”.
I’m sure lots of mummy’s are feeling that same mixture of excitement and trepidation. This next chapter isn’t one we can put off but it doesn’t mean that we want it to happen right now either. The reality of it is that I have to get on with it. We will wake up tomorrow and have breakfast together, you’ll get dressed and I’ll try to not let you see me wiping away the tears as I sneak off into the bathroom for a little weep. We’ll take photos of you in your uniform and we’ll walk off to school together hand in hand. I know you’re feeling a little worried too. It’s only natural that you don’t know what to expect, even though you’ve been to nursery a million times with Sofia and you’re familiar with it. This is different. This is about you. Its your time. It’s OK to feel unsure. You’ve asked me to stay a while with you and of course my heart skipped a beat as I hoped you would. I’ll help you choose your three books to bring home every day, just like Sofia did, and we’ll explore and discover your new surroundings. Perhaps the frogs that were in the pond over the summer will have hopped back to say hello to you!?
I know you’re going to be fine Luca and I know you’re going to love going to nursery school. I will be excited to collect you every day and listen to your stories as we walk down the street home again. I can almost hear you speak in excitement, like when you can’t quite get your words out and have to take a deep breath! I’m excited for you and I’m so so proud of you. I’m proud that your sister is your best friend, that you have great manners and i’m proud that you’re mine! My little big boy.
I wish you a wonderful first day at nursery school tomorrow and I promise you with all my heart that we’ll take it as quickly or as slowly as you feel comfortable with. It’s going to be great Luca! You’re going to be great! The only things I ask you to do are say please and thank you and make sure you wash your hands!
Be brave. Be happy. Be adventurous. Be you!
Mummy loves you all the world, to the moon, around the universe and back again. x